Children really do say the darnedest things. Here are some of our roll-on-the-floor moments. Check back often as I’m sure these entries will multiply quickly.

Have a funny story to share? Please leave a comment here and tell us what your children are saying that has you laughing out loud.

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November 10, 2008

We were shopping when Aaron spotted something of interest…

“Yo, dude. That’s awesome!”

I almost dropped the little blue basket I was carrying through the pharmacy aisles. When did my 4-year-old start using the language of a teenager, and with perfect intonation?

“Aaron,” I said trying not to laugh. “You may think it’s fun to call your friends ‘dude’, and that’s fine, but it’s not okay to call your mother a dude.”

“OK, Mommy. Can I just call you awesome?”

September 15, 2008

Last night I had a brief glimpse into my future, and it wasn’t pretty. Aaron loves to play make believe where he takes on a different character and gets to be someone other than himself. Last night he decided to be a big boy who can drive and I was his friend. During our little play date, Aaron announced that he was leaving for a trip…

“Where are you going?” I asked

“Well, I have to go visit my old parents. They don’t live with me anymore.”

“Where do they live?”

“They live in a house where old people go…you know the ones where there aren’t any toilets.”

August 17, 2008

“Everybody has a bum, right Mommy?”

“Yes, everybody has a bum.”

“Sooo does everybody have an ass?”

August 12, 2008

“Mommy, may I leave the table?”

“No, not yet. Please sit nicely in your chair while we finish dinner.”

“Ummm … Mommy, I really need to help you learn how to stop saying NO.”

August 11, 2008

“Aaron, we’re going to plan a trip to China. It will be wonderful and there are lots of amazing things for you to see there.”

“Mommy, we don’t need to go to China. We have Pandas in the zoo right here.”

August 2, 2008

“Good morning my darling. I’m so happy to see you,” I say in my sing-song, early morning, coffee-fueled happy voice.

“Hi, Mommy.”

“Where’s my hug this morning?”

“It flew away,” he says looking a little devilish and not at all excited to start a new day. “I don’t have any hugs for you today.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t love you anymore.”

“Oh Aaron that makes me really sad.”

“It’s OK Mommy. I love lots of other people.”

July 18, 2008

“Mommy, are you a dinosaur?”

“No. Do you think I look like a dinosaur?”

“Yes”

“Really! What does a dinosaur look like?”

“Dead.”

Maybe I should reconsider the Botox trend.

July 9, 2008

Squishing his nose like a bunny rabbit, “Mommy, look at my nose,” he giggles.

“You have the cutest little nose,” I say.

He promptly spins around and with great enthusiasm starts wagging his little derrière at me.

“Look Mommy,” he says with glee. “I have the cutest bum, too.”

“Really? Who says you have a cute bum?”

“Mommy,” he exclaims in a tone that conveys just how surprised he is that I’m not privy to his next explanation, “EVERYBODY thinks my bum is cute. Everybody, everywhere.”

July 7, 2008

I’d recently wondered if perhaps my husband and son are spending far too much time engaged in male-bonding activities. Last night Aaron proved that my intuition is spot-on. As I’m putting him to bed, he all of a sudden becomes very still and scrunches his face into his most serious four-year-old expression and says, “Mommy, you really are a little bit crazy, right?“