Comments on: What Are Your Sanity Saving Tips?

By: Steph

Steph — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:30:14 +0000

Great topic and as always you’re post is thought provoking and insightful, as well as the comments! With this pregnancy wearing me out I’ve felt the need to take a lot of deep breaths lately, but it really helps when I start to feel worn out and overwhelmed.

Depending on the situation, I’ve also used “this new place”’s technique of tickling or being silly – that works well with my 2 year old still – and gives both of us a break and chance to reset.
Steph´s last blog ..Summer Fun List – progress report

By: this new place

this new place — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 02:08:56 +0000

i just walk out of the room. or sometimes just start tickling them like crazy and it changes us all. what you are talking about comes generally from a place of stress and helplessness. Sometimes it is just plain insanity too, but regardless, bah.

By: Lisa P

Lisa P — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 01:14:45 +0000

Gosh, it’s so true about the fine line we all walk between that of frustrated parent and child abuser.

I’ve been there. For sure. For me, I found I am better able to change the tone of the moment if I get down on my kids’ level. If I’m towering over them, I think it is easier to think in terms of domination and control. I feel more at risk of turning into a bully when I’m the biggest kid in the play yard.

When my kids are out of control, I also find it helps to seek out the things I can control. For example, if I’ve lost control of my daughter’s tantrum, I take a break from her and turn of anything that’s making noise, close a door to contain her, dim the lights, etc. I control everything else in the environment so I have a better chance of eventually regaining control of her. If my kids are losing it and I’m surrounded by other things that are stressful, it’s even harder to find a positive resolution.
Lisa P´s last blog ..Why Lisa, Where Have You Been?

By: Tricia

Tricia — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:47:31 +0000

Lori, thank you so much for such kind words!!! Wishing you a little R&R and take all the time you need to focus on your family and yourself, we’ll all still be here.

By: Tricia

Tricia — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:44:55 +0000

Maybe hospitals should provide time out chairs for parents as part of those new baby packages they send home. I do wish more “professionals” would give coping strategies right along with lessons on breastfeeding and diaper changing.

I know it’s hard to read when our hearts feel hurt with the enormity and severity, but it’s so important we all continue to engage and thanks so much for doing just that )

By: Tricia

Tricia — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:42:07 +0000

Walking away and seeking a safe place to vent are wonderful tips to help parents disengage before allowing a situation to escalate.

I know from my own experiences that step parenting brings it’s own unique set of circumstances and challenges. Good for you for rising above and not engaging in the tit for tat or putting down of the other parent, even when it’s obvious or difficult.

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 04:19:03 +0000

What a great post and what great comments too. Tricia you have such a beautiful heart and soul that truly cares about people. I so enjoy reading your posts and have missed visiting you as of late. Hopefully it won’t be so long before I can stop by again! Hugs, Lori

PS Thank you for speaking out and using your voice to help those who don’t have a voice or haven’t found theirs yet. One by one, people will get the message and lives will be changed…all because you had the courage to speak from your heart.

By: Grandy

Grandy — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:37:07 +0000

I seriously believed in TIME-OUT!! It was rarely about Tyler needing a time-out…but rather ME. It wasn’t his fault I was trying to cope with things…his teeth hurt, or he needed changing, or whatever his issue was. UGH it breaks my heart to read these things and so…I stop reading.
Grandy´s last blog ..A letter to Grandy’s Bank

By: WickedStepMom

WickedStepMom — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:50:19 +0000

I have two different situations that I want to talk about. The first is the one that you mentioned above. When I am push to my limits, I walk away. My girls are old enough that I can leave the room and know that they will be safe from harm. I walk away and then vent to another parent. It always helps because they had something like it happen to them a few days ago.

The second is particular to being a step-mom. Sometimes, I hear things like “Well, my mommy said…” A little too often in one day. I am sure that there are plenty of sane rational bio-moms out there but my girls’ mom is not one of them. It takes a lot of willpower sometimes not to scream, “You’re mommy is wrong and doesn’t really care about you.” But I don’t. I grab a laptop and we do some web searches to show what is really the case.
WickedStepMom´s last blog ..OMG!

By: Tricia

Tricia — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:56:39 +0000

Me too!! I know we all do what we have to do and put one foot in front of the other, but like you, I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have a support system and a very involved husband. Thaks for pointing out the importance of having people in our lives who can help. When parents have to go it alone, the stress must be overwhelming at times, and there’s a real need throughout our country (the world, really) to provide education and resources to help parents develop effective coping strategies, whether alone or co-parenting. Since abuse cases are actually on the rise, and many researchers are attributing it to the stress families are feeling because of the current economy, we really need to continue the dialogue and reach out wherever we can. I want to be hopeful.