Writing is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.

— Winston Churchill

Wondering on Wednesday: Disagreeing on The Big Stuff

The other day I talked a little about how my longtime friend, Amy, and I have such different lifestyles that we probably make a nice little Yin and Yang social experiment to help our children learn that differences are actually OK and can enhance our lives. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, the post is here.

Well to further elaborate on my whole different is good thinking process, I thought I’d share one of many reasons my husband has decided he lives with a nut. I asked him to look through a very black and white lens at some rather difficult social issues and to pretend that he had to vote up or down, on the spot, without any hemming and hawing, no amendments or mucking up the discussion with all the normal gray matter where we happen to intersect.

I asked him to vote up or down on:

  • Legalizing gay marriage
  • The death penalty
  • Keeping abortion legal
  • Legalizing marijuana
  • Mandatory chemical castration for convicted pedophiles
  • Gay adoption

I was a little surprised that when push came to shove, we only cast identical votes on two issues.

These two have made it so there's hope, right?

These two have made it so there's hope, right?

It’s not that I don’t know where my husband stands on most issues, and I obviously know where I stand, it’s just that when we discuss  hot-button topics, we tend to get into all the gray area of personal decision making, and how we’d feel if this or that happened in our own lives, or to someone we love, but we’ve never really broken it down into a no nonsense, ya gotta take a stand and vote now kind of gun draw.

I suppose I don’t need to look very far afield to teach my child that differences can enrich our lives. I’ll just make sure he’s sitting in on more lunch-time conversations at home, and I’ll make sure to take him aside and explain that mommy is right and daddy is wrong, but it’s OK because it’s always good to at least have an intellectual understanding of both sides of an issue.

I’m Wondering on Wednesday: Is there something morally, politically, philosophically or otherwise that you and your significant other disagree about?

Completely different topic, but one of my favorite posts from around the blog world this week is here

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23 comments to Wondering on Wednesday: Disagreeing on The Big Stuff

  • You know, I will have to ask him. But I don’t really think we disagree on anything big. We disagree about little things but not the big ones.

    WickedStepMoms last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts: What the Hell?

  • I see a couple of things on your list that I think Karen and I would disagree on. However, a couple of years ago, there probably would have been more — and I’m the one who has changed, not her, in part as a result of interactions with other bloggers.

    Mike Goads last blog post..The Sun Has Lost Its Spots — Part 2

  • Tricia

    WickedStepMom: It’s funny because Kim and I rarely disagree about little things, well, maybe that’s not entirely true…let’s just say conversations here are pretty interesting and can keep us on our toes. Can’t wait what to hear after you ask Bear.

    Mike: I love that you’ve been influenced by other bloggers, me too! It’s a wonderful community, and cheaper than therapy :o )

    Paul: True, but maybe that’s half the fun of disagreeing. I was very careful not to say which way each of us voted.

  • Oh we would disagree on several of those big topics you mentioned…but it doesn’t keep us from loving each other!

    Mary Alices last blog post..Hey Nineteen

  • Jan

    I know without a doubt that Beloved and I agree 100% on every topic you’ve mentioned. However, we differ dramatically on the Second Amendment.

    It’s very hard for me not to be a proponent of gun control after having my father-in-law killed in a gang-related drive-by shooting and having my 16-year-old nephew gunned down and paralyzed by a couple of crack-heads.

    Jans last blog post..Hammy Takes The Spotlight

  • TIME. We can never agree on being ON TIME. But that’s pretty darn small potatoes.

    garys last blog post..Paul McCartney has a little something for me:

  • Tricia

    Mary Alice: Brains are the sexiest capital, EVER, so I happen to agree about loving each other in spite and because of disagreement.

    Jan: What incredibly tragic, heart-wrenching, gut twisting stuff your family has gone through. I’m so sorry! You also just gave me my next lunch-time conversation, right after we finish the First Amendment and the role of journalism in democracy.

    Gary: Kim and I both hate to be late, but I’m quite sure he’d tell you I have more of a “problem” with punctuality than he does…of course I’d disagree with him.

  • I would say generally we agree on the big things. It’s the little things. Like when you wash a car, how clean does it have to be? Or how to use the coffee grinder. At least we agree on this issue: which way does the toilet paper hang.

    Smalltown Moms last blog post..Purple Rain

  • Tricia

    Smalltown Mom: Now, I agree, that would be a serious deal breaker…toilet paper can only go one way! My husband’s vehicle is immaculate and mine is typically a mess.

  • donna

    The only thing that Doug and I do not agree on is how to hang the toilet paper. All other issues we do agree on. Espically on the issues that you mentioned above. And of course I am always right. Hmmmm do you think that he would agree with me on that?


  • I’m pretty sure my husband and I agree on all of those issues…but I am going to ask him this evening. I know my opinions about certain things have changed over the years and I am sure his have as well.

    In my house of 4 men…I am just happy if they leave me a piece of toilet paper! One of them peed on the seat this morning and my daughter sat in it. Girl when she came out of that bathroom…there was fire shooting out of her eye sockets!

    Monicas last blog post..Baby Veiyah Is That Miracle!

  • I *think* my hubs and I agree on most things, except time. I’m punctional, he’s late – day in, day out. Drives me nucking futs! :)

    MamaGeeks last blog post..This Bud’s For You.

  • We are an atheist and a Christian. So, yeah.

    Cheri @ Blog This Mom!s last blog post..Father Serra is LOL in His Grave at ME

  • Tricia

    Donna: I’m quite sure Dad would disagree with you, but he’d probably humor you anyway!

    Monica: Ha! With a husband, two stepsons and a little guy in and out of our house, I know exactly how your daughter feels.

    MamaGeek: I love “nucking futs” can we trademark that. LOL.

    Cheri: Now, that would make for some great round-table conversations.

  • kristy

    I would say that my husband I definitely don’t agree on all these topics but I guess that gives us an opportunity to teach our daughter diversity and that there are always two sides to everything.

  • Tricia

    Kristy: Yes, or the opportunity to show your daughter how to fight nicely, or worst case scenario…we often end up showing Aaron how to make up after a heated debate.

  • My husband and I think very similarly regarding politics. It’s everyday life we disagree on!! Sometimes I wonder if we have anything in common, other than our children and the party we vote for!! heh.

    HeatherPrides last blog post..To Claire, On Her Very First Birthday

  • HBL and I pretty much disagree on all hot button issues, but a long time ago, we agreed to disagree and not make it a problem. It works for us and it only solidifies our bond because we can let each other be who we are, without censoring.

    Midlife Slicess last blog post..To Finish Or Not To Finish, That’s The Question

  • Tricia

    Heather: My husband’s hearing is getting worse and worse, and really, that may be why we agree on some of the little things. I say something, he nods in agreement, but he never really heard me in the first place.

    Midlife Slices: I like your and HBL’s philosophy.

  • My husband and I agree on many things but not everything. I think we are both open to other idea’s and opinions so neither of us are stuck on “being right”. I like that he doesn’t agree with me on everything. I like that we can agree to disagree. We have some great debates and discussions that honestly have made me realize that there are more than one answer to many things.

    I think that being on the internet and meeting so many different people, my opinions and thoughts have broadened a lot. Great post!

    Loris last blog post..I Am Beautiful Like Me.

  • I think we probably disagree on most of the topics you mentioned. @Donna – We do however agree 100% on which way the toilet paper goes. The right way. Over not under. :-)

    Smart Mouth Broads last blog post..FASHION POLICE BUST LOW RIDERS

  • so many, i can’t even begin to list them. but then there are a lot we do agree on…..

    Madges last blog is to short to wear stupid pants

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