Writing is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.

— Winston Churchill

Monogamy Lessons and My Affair

You know how the anticipation of your first time in bed with a new lover is often much better than the actual sex? Sure, the newness of it is delicious and the sweet surrender of curiosity is satiating in its own right, but like all baubles, it takes time to polish and create a high sheen.

With 14 years of monogamy under my belt, I’ve learned that there’s nothing quite as mind blowing as a partner who knows how soft the skin is at the crook of my knee, and that if he kisses my neck in just the right spot, it shortens my breath and quickens my pulse.

I remember asking my mother, who’s been with my father since she was 15-years-old, how it’s possible to have sex with the same person year after year after year. Didn’t it get terribly boring? In one of her wise mom moments she explained, “Tricia, if it’s really the right person, it just keeps getting better with time. The longer you’re with that person, the better it gets.” I was 19 at the time, and I’m quite sure I didn’t believe a word she said.

All these years later, I get it.

So, since I understand and value monogamy on as many levels as my little brain allows, I don’t understand why I didn’t take that lesson to heart and realize that, like sex with a long-term partner, hair cuts with a long-term stylist are always more satisfying than a romp in the chair at a new salon.

Perhaps these new Farah Faucet feathered bangs and the strange soccer mom type bob I’m sporting are my scarlet letters. I’ve been branded, outed, trimmed and sheared, and there’s no way I’ll be able to hide my indiscretion. When I crawl back to my regular stylist ashamed and humiliated, she’ll take one look and she’ll know I had an affair, and apparently I got exactly what I deserved.

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