Banging My Head for Education
I tend to over think things. (I can hear you snickering) When my nerves are on fire and I can’t articulate an internal struggle, I go into information overload, which drives myself crazier than you already know I am.
Aaron will be entering kindergarten this fall and I’ve spent the last two weeks burying myself in research, grilling teachers, an elementary school principal, friends, and ensuring that my husband wishes he could stick his head in a dark hole and never come out.
We hear, read and discuss the state of education in our country, its demise and ineptness, yet there are more theories than answers regarding how best to educate children and not one is truth wrapped up with a bow.
Education is not something that only takes place inside the brick and mortar walls of an institutionalized mass. It’s a process that takes place every day, all day long, and at its core, education is the responsibility of parents. We make the choices, fight the fights, cheer the accomplishments and steer the helm, but like a business plan without a clear destination, I feel like we’re getting ready to travel indefinitely.
Of course I want my child to learn and excel in the classical sense, and I want those milestones to be measured and accounted, but what else? What do I need to think of in terms of supplementation? What kind of an environment will help him discover his strengths, turn weaknesses into opportunities for self-discovery and help him to believe he can accomplish whatever he desires?
We’ve spent two years as a Montessori family and until the economy took a dive, my plan had been to keep Aaron in his current school. Our enrollment contract was due last week, and it’s still sitting on my desk. Like you, I’ve been hit with a serious case of deteriorating consumer confidence and I can’t commit to another year of tuition without a better idea of where my business is headed in the next 12 months.
I believe in Montessori. For me, this isn’t simply a question of public versus private education. It’s about methodologies, theories of child development, creating an intrinsic love of learning without using extrinsic motivators, a whole-child approach that helps to develop fundamental academic skills in a truly child-centered environment. It’s the realization that all children are not the same. They are not clones who develop cognitive abilities in unison once they reach a certain age. It’s about being an individual instead of a number.
While I was interviewing our public elementary school’s principal and we were discussing classroom mechanics, teaching methods and what No Child Left Behind has meant for students and teachers, she said, “We can’t have 20 children in a classroom all doing something different.” Hummm. She’s apparently never visited a Montessori classroom.
Aaron is adaptable and he’ll do OK in whatever environment he ends up. I want more for him than okay. I want him to thrive. I’m not the kind of person who lies down and plays dead. When the answer is no, when I’m struggling to find a way around the voices of conformity, I’ll bare-handedly dig a whole under an obstacle. I’ll bang my head against an institution until there’s a crack large enough to allow a wiggle. I have four and a half months to find a way to make this happen for my child. Wish me luck.
So very much luck to you — exact reasons we home school — I don’t have the energy to fight the battle right now, so I do it my way! It is a tough battle!
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I totally understand your concern and commend your attitude to not sit back and be lax about your son’s education. It is why we homeschooled for 5 years and why I was involved at my children’s schools. Just remember, that whatever you do choose, doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind. Plan to keep reevaluating. What works one year may not the next. We parents have to be our childrens strongest advocates and in doing so, we take on the extra work that that brings.
Researching and asking lots of questions…visiting schools if there is that option…talking to teachers…all things that will help you and your husband make a decision. Just keep in mind that there is no perfect school or answers and that above everyone, you and your husband are your son’s greatest teachers!
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I have no idea what the schools are like in your area. But I have heard nothing but positive things about our schools so I’m looking forward to cutting our preschool tuition payment in half!! (we will still have to pay for the before/after care program) Good luck with the school year, lots of kids get through public school and have successful lives! Don’t stress too much.
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Oh, Tricia – I know EXACTLY how you feel.
My husband and I have seen five children through public education. Five. Granted, the last two are still there, but Miss Jacki, his youngest daughter, will graduate next year – with honors. And when Aaron starts kindergarten, I will send my baby, my precious – The Young One – off to high school.
We’ve talked a little bit about this before, when you blogged about homeschooling. I believe I made mention that homeschooling is not just those like your friend Amy who have their child with them all day and do the actual instruction. Homeschooling is what you, as a parent, do every day. Before school. After school. On the weekends. During summer vacation. It’s talking to your child about what he’s learned or learning and using it as a “starting point” in their education – which begins and ends with you. YOU have more to do with your child’s education than any teacher or educator ever will.
I wish you could continue to send him to the Montessori school – we have Marie Montessori’s book and have both read it – but I completely understand the economic constraints that may prohibit it. That’s okay, though, because you’re his mother and the best teacher he’ll ever have. I KNOW you’ll make sure he takes the best out of public school and overcomes the worst.
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I certainly do wish you luck, but as a person who went to public schools and later taught in private, believe me, if there is any way you can do it: keep your son in a private school that you like. I am sorry to say it, but it will always be better. Why? Usually, if nothing else, private schools have fewer behavior problems. Public schools take everybody and teachers spend a lot of time directing traffic, which as you saw the kindergarten teacher you spoke to couldn’t imagine.If I may express this opinon: fewer behavior problems make it easier for kids to LEARN.
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I tell you what Tricia, I did not know stress until my son went to school.
He loves learning. He LOVES it and I hope it stays that way, but sometimes I do wonder at his school’s teaching methods.
I now do lots more with him at home. We write stories together, make numbers fun, we read a lot – I personally really enjoyed my school years and I’ll do anything I can to ensure he does too.
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That sounds intimidating. I wish you luck in finding the right place for him. I know that it does make a difference.
WickedStepMoms last blog post..Creative Writing for the Spin Cycle
If I had it to do over, I’d home school. But of course it’s easy for me to say that now that I don’t have to actually make the decision to home school verses public school. I’m just glad I DON’T have it to do over. Good luck, my friend.
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Private schooling or home schooling was never an option for us. Both of our kids were educated in public school and I think that while their education suffered due to the D*mn FCAT obscession, they were both able to receive a good education. They were both in honors classes, attended a magnet high school and got into a good college. Unfortunately, I think success or failure lies mostly with the parents. There are some kids who will thrive regardless but we as parents have to stay involved, on top of things and show up. I have no doubt that I am preaching to the choir her as I’m sure no matter what you choose, you will be involved. So glad you’re back.
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I’ve worked in public education for 16 years. I have found that the students who get the best education come from homes that value and support learning and who provide a rich background of prior knowledge and experience.
We sent our daughter to private school for 4 years. Over here, the middle school years are the most difficult and the public schools have the most difficult time. The best thing about private school was the student culture. Kids were there to learn and excel. One of the biggest problems we have in the public schools are that so many kids make trouble and do not value (nor do their parents) their education. Gone are the days of reform schools and expelling students. The few make it ugly for the many and I have heard several administrators say it won’t change until regular parents get involved as much as the parents of the hard head trouble making kids. These kids parents and their law suits have turned the tides in favor of the students who create a studen culture where it is not cool to do homework or answer questions in class. We’re workign on it though.
Write your legislatures and ask them to reform the NCLB laws. All they do at this time is support turning public schools into cash cows for private business.
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My recent experiences with public school have me considering homeschooling. Not seriously, but that the thought is even there… well that says something.
I’m struggling with this one at the moment – have to read your other education posts and see what else you have to say!