Comments on: Wondering on Wednesday: How Long Can Parents Choose Child’s Friends?

By: patois

patois — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:07:39 +0000

By the time my kids hit third grade, they befriended on their own. That said, their tastes in children run along the same lines as my taste in parents, so most of their friends have parents whom I enjoy chatting with. (If, you know, I'm ever forced to chat.) patoiss last blog post..It's on the Tip of My Tongue

By: Smart Mouth Broad

Smart Mouth Broad — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 05:38:09 +0000

I would say mid-elementary school and by middle school you not only have no say but they sometimes like to pick the kids you would never pick. *sigh* Smart Mouth Broads last blog post..IT’S A THREE DOG NIGHT

By: Smalltown Mom

Smalltown Mom — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:39:09 +0000

My sons chose their own friends...beginning about age 4 when they were in pre-K. I'm not a social mommy either...but if they wanted to play with a particular child I would work out a play date. If I didn't like the child (or parents) too much I wouldn't work very hard at setting it up! At age 5-8 my older son had friendships with boys who lived next door, so that was easy. Smalltown Moms last blog post..Civic Duty

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:01:43 +0000

I have trouble with being quiet too. It's just hard for me to think of things to say if I don't know a person well. Sometimes even then I have trouble with that. I'm better with the written word. Maybe I should just hand out notes to people. My oldest is only 6, but she's started making her own friends last year when she started Kindergarten and I no longer necessarily know the parents of the children she's playing with. Heathers last blog post..Is it Just Me or Does She Look Like She's Going to be Walking Soon?

By: Queenofphrump

Queenofphrump — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:20:11 +0000

I like this. It means I am not the only one! A woman once told me, "I like you better the more I get to know you." I knew what she was trying to say and I took it as a compliment. My standoffishness is due to a lack of social skill, not because I am trying to be a rude person. It takes thought for me to really make friends in our neighborhood. I don't think I do it very well either. My own mother did not do this well and as a child I envied the kids whose mother's were more involved socially. Even with that... I have a terrible time connecting myself to the social networks of playground mothering. I continue to make the effort. Queenofphrumps last blog post..Diversity

By: Lisa Milton

Lisa Milton — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:39:12 +0000

I think it happens in time. We have family friends, families we hang out with and my kids (10,7) love and would pick to play with anyway. But it's an extension of my choices still. They are family to us. But my kids are picking new friends too, and though I try to be friendly, I'm not particularly close to these moms. One seems far more introverted so we are quite a pair. I like that there isn't pressure to hang out, just because our girls hit it off. It's an interesting transition. Lisa Miltons last blog post..sickly and inspired

By: phhhst

phhhst — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:39:00 +0000

Teenagers definately select their own friends. I was horrible at the helping of their social lives. I barely had time for work, grad classes and my own friends. One of my friends was so good at it that she had a hardtime letting go... the flip side. phhhsts last blog post..Meme Me Interview

By: Midlife Slices

Midlife Slices — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:33:42 +0000

You'll have no problem realizing the moment he decides to choose for himself when he gives you "the look" at your suggestion to invite little Johnny over to play and he can't stand LJ. Our personalities are exactly the same. People that don't know me think I'm "stuck up" or "a bitch" when in fact I'm quite the opposite but very quiet. *sigh* Midlife Slicess last blog post..Market Center or Wild Kingdom?

By: Twenty Four At Heart

Twenty Four At Heart — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:18:42 +0000

I’m trying to think back as to when that stops, and I don’t remember. BUT I do know with 3 teens, I have no say whatsoever over their friends. I do still invoke praise to endorse the friends I like best. Instead of saying anything critical about a LOSER friend, I mention a positive quality about one of their friends I like. Fortunately, my kids have done a good job picking their friends for the most part. The biggest challenge came when RC played high school football. The whole team hung out together a lot and some of those boys … *shudder*.

I’m exactly like you with the mom thing. I’m not a social person and the mom network makes me cringe. Fortunately, as the kids get older that disappears too. Thank God. Who wants to spend time with a bunch of hormonal, judgmental, competitive bitches? Oh wait … maybe that’s just Orange County!

By: HeatherPride

HeatherPride — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 14:47:39 +0000

We're going through the same sort of thing. My husband is of the opinion that he already has enough friends and somewhere along the line stopped seeking other friendships out. That sort of left me to be the friend-maker in the neighborhood. It's gone pretty well. After 3 years of living in our new neighborhood we are friendly with two other couples with kids around our kids ages. It's a nice integration for Logan, he can play with his preschool buddies at school and then we have kids for him to hang out with on the weekends. My mother is an only child and so am I. I really love the way she understood that part of me when I was growing up. She worked a lot at friend-making, just so I would have playmates. I think what your friend told you is kind of true. Just remember to check your shy at the door when we get together this summer!! HeatherPrides last blog post..Butterflies Are Free (But Only Through the Age of Three)