Comments on: Wondering on Wednesday: Woman to Woman

By: patois

patois — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:44:23 +0000

I expect to get back what I give. If that doesn't happen, I find someone else who will do that. I try not to paint everyone with the same brush whenever I encounter some dumb-ass. (Be them blonde or working or sloughing off at home as I am.) (Joking about the "sloughing off," of course.) patoiss last blog post..Even the Dog Likes Her Better!

By: Vered - MomGrind

Vered - MomGrind — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:35:13 +0000

What do I expect from women? I expect support and sisterhood. I often receive it, but just as often, I am frustrated with how harsh women can be towards other women.

By: Lisa Milton

Lisa Milton — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:19:48 +0000

Talk about being rude. Yes, she may have had some difficult experiences that tainted her worldview, but haven't we all? I've worked and now I am in transition, staying at home. I've felt heat over both positions (either I'm selfish and neglecting my kids or I'm dopey and wasting my life) but really? I've always been doing the best that I can, and what works for my family. I've got to believe others are doing the same. I wish we lived in a more supportive environment that helped us work and raise our families successfully. Until then, I'm holding back judgment. (I'd sneaker with you any day.) Lisa Miltons last blog post..fragile

By: Tricia

Tricia — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:08:37 +0000

Goodfather: I like your turn of phrase better. I’m not sure about the daily show, but I did take my husband out for lunch today, which was a nice break.

tcb: The election is a great example of how women tore women apart based on different belief systems, and throughout the blogshpere and in the media it went on and on and on, and it was physically gut wrenching to see. I lost quite a bit of faith in the “sisterhood” as a result.

Marie: I think the competitive nature is very American, and crosses gender lines. Perhaps though the way women size each other up, and the parameters we use, are different than those men use with other men.

WickedStepMom: I’d hang out with you any day. I love how you’re working to empower your girls and the values you’re helping them to build will surely outweigh any of the negative messages they’re receiving from other people in their life, I really do believe that.

Brandygirl: Infertility adds a whole new component to the idea of whether or not women support each other, doesn’t it. Like Thistle pointed out, having or not having children tends to put us in little blocks and define our womeness. If you do decide to go back to work after the baby is born, I just have one thing to say…I want free samples!!!

Jen: I say with great affection that I hope you’re wrong. I hope someday there will no longer be mommy wars, but in reality you are most likely very right. The comments you’ve received since becoming a SAHM seem so outrageous to me and I’m sorry you’ve experienced that.

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:32:09 +0000

I do feel a kinship with women that I don't feel with men. Part of it is shared struggles, part of it is this journey we call motherhood. I never looked down on SAHM's while I was a working mother, but I have received some degrading comments now that I'm a SAHM. Like, "it must be so nice not to have to work!" and, "you seem stressed, why don't you just get a job". There will always be mommy wars, sadly. I'm sorry she was such a twat to you. Jens last blog post..It’s a beautiful day

By: Brandygirl

Brandygirl — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:03:21 +0000

How very very rude of her!!!! What a biatch!!!! I think what you're doing is amazing - juggling work and being a mum. However, it doesn't mean that being a SAHM has it any easier, but why the need to judge on what we do or don't do??? I am the total opposite. I used to work for a large international beauty conglomerate, as you would know, but since moving to Australia and then finding out that I had to do IVF, we decided that I would concentrate on my first cycle and decide work later. And trust me, some of my "friends" or ex-colleagues, give me that tone of voice too - So, what do you do in your free time? Because we didn't tell everybody what was happening, there were soo many times when I had to lie and the next question would be followed in that same tone of voice - OH, DON'T YOU EVER GET BORED?!!! I wish I was working again, I really do. And I loved what your mum said: Do not look down your nose at us, don’t you think that we would love to be in your shoes? We just can’t. Brandygirls last blog post..When love becomes this simple and beautiful

By: WickedStepMom

WickedStepMom — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:56:33 +0000

This is particularly hard for me to answer. I never really got along well with other women. I have always gotten along better with men. I always feel like the outsider in a group of women. At work, I get my hands just as dirty as the guys do and I don't expect them to do things for me because they are "male" tasks. Unfortunately, in my line of work, this is not the normal way things are handled. So, I am usually shunned by my female co-workers because I will lift a heavy monitor and not ask a guy to do it for me. I have never been very good at talking to women and I don't think that I ever will. So, generally, I expect the worst from other women. I expect them to isolate me and shun me. I expect them to disrespect me behind my back. Because, that has always been my experience. I try to teach my girls that "girl power" is about girls doing anything boys can do. And that they should do them because it is their responsibility to do something that they can do. Other people in their lives are trying to teach them that girl power means that they can do whatever they want but not take any responsibility and they don't have to do things that they are capable of. WickedStepMoms last blog post..The Un-Patriot

By: Memarie Lane

Memarie Lane — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:31:53 +0000

i think women are competitive by nature, especially in face-to-face interactions. always sizing each other up and trying to keep up or surpass.

By: thatcoolbroad

thatcoolbroad — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:01:38 +0000

Whatever that woman’s issues (and she may have some valid ones), she handled the situation terribly and flat out rudely (and there’s no excuse for that). But you’re right…women do seem to be each other’s harshest critics. I’ve had both male and female bosses in the past and the female ones were never any better than the male ones (and most of the male ones were pretty crappy). At the beginning of my experience in the work force, I didn’t think that would be the case, but I was wrong.

But you bring up an interesting point. It does seem to me that women don’t support or empower their sisters unless they share the same convictions or beliefs. For instance, I can’t think of two more polarizing figures among women than Hillary Clinton and Sara Palin. I mean, it almost seems like we’re more critical of those two than any male candidate. And 95% of black people supported Barack Obama (some, admittedly just because he shared their skin color and they felt it was important to support his candidacy). We certainly didn’t feel the need to support female candidates just because we’d like to see America finally elect a woman Pres. or V.P.

Why is that? And is that bad?

By: goodfather

goodfather — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:51:05 +0000

LOL @ ’sneakered heel’. I read it as ‘well-sneakered heel’ which made me snort coffee on my monitor (again), but then I went back and read it correctly. Still hilarious.

I work at home several days a week. And I’m with Gary – it’s important to not be at work all day and all night. You have to STOP and go watch the Daily Show.

goodfathers last blog post..Spin Cycle: ‘Change has come to America’