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Writing is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.

— Winston Churchill

Wondering on Wednesday: What’s Your Truth?

We each hold our own truths—facts we know in our hearts to be so undeniably accurate we’re comfortable to share them with gusto and righteousness. We repeat our truths, write about them, scoff at those not as enlightened and shove seeds down the gullets of family and friends hoping to take root. We take our truth and roll it around on our tongues and in our hands, savoring our own honesty and conviction, until finally experience changes our mind.

While journeying across the blogsphere, I often run into people’s truth, nuggets that are contradictory to my own.

Commenting on a post regarding a family who has eight children, six of whom were born from the same pregnancy, a woman wrote, “It’s been proven that nobody puts four embryos back inside during an IVF procedure unless they’re trying to have multiples.”

Her absolute truth and proven hypothesis completely opposes my own experience. We were advised to place four of our embryos into my uterus during IVF, and we were hoping with all the strength of our marriage and the desire of Aphrodite that maybe, just maybe, one would survive.

Commenting on a post I wrote at The Imperfect Parent someone shared, “…My children know where the phrase, “rule of thumb” came from and that they can’t use that in my presence because of its history.”

She is referring to an urban myth of feminism perpetuated by influential activist, Del Martin who wrote in 1976 that ‘the rule of thumb’ originally referred to a British law limiting the maximum thickness of a stick with which it was permissible for a man to beat his wife, but this has been discredited. The law never existed.

These comments and others have left me to contemplate some of my own truths—items that once were clear, but that over time have been exposed and disintegrated. I’ve realized there are many. Here are a few:

  • I’ll be your friend forever, no matter what.
  • Marriage doesn’t take work, and two people who truly love each other never argue or fight.
  • I never had acne as a teenager, so I’ll never get pimples as an adult.
  • To become pregnant, or not, is simply a matter of birth control.
  • People who incessantly complain about their children don’t really appreciate them.
  • Someone who loves me would never intentionally hurt me.
  • Being married means you get to have sex all the time.
  • Given enough time, justice will prevail.
  • If he or she can just hear my reasoning, they’ll understand and think like I do.

I’m wondering on Wednesday—what was your truth?

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24 comments to Wondering on Wednesday: What’s Your Truth?

  • donna

    I guess that we all need “truths” to belive in. Rather they are our truths or someone elses. I think that as we grow up our truths change.We adopt our parents truths, rather right or wrong they become our truths.

    I am sure that you have developed some truths that Aaron will also adopt as his own as he grows and developes into an adult.

    Who ever told you that you can have all the sex that you want when you got married sure didn’t know what they were talking about now did they. As far as the birth control pill being a form of not getting pregnant, it is the only form of which a parent can help to keep their teenage daughters from becoming a mother before her time.
    If we could all look into the future and know our destiney then would we change it or live what is ours to live. I know that I would not have choosen to become a teenage mother at the ripe old age of 16. What I do know is that I would not change a thing.I have you.

    Some times we have to belive that justice will prevale if we are to go on with some of the bad things that happen to us. I do belive that in the end everyone will get what they deserve in one form or another. That is one of my truths that I chose to belive.

    I think that people who love us do not intend to hurt us. People talk before they think things thru some times not knowing that they are hurting us.

    We all need truths to belive in.
    XOXOX

  • I always thought that being married meant you didn’t have to have sex all the time. Damn, another truth proved wrong.

    The only truth I really know is that there are no truths. (Of course, were that true, then it wouldn’t be. Have I hurt your head with that one?)

    patoiss last blog post..Even the Dog Likes Her Better!

  • I’ve heard these two truths…both from intelligent people:

    1) Life’s hard, but it’s fair.

    2) Nobody ever said life was fair.

    I’m more inclined to believe the second truth…what you do think?

    xoxo
    tcb

    thatcoolbroads last blog post..How NOT to Feel Like a Loser at Saks

  • The one I am holding on to most fiercely at the moment is this:

    Things will work out if you let them.

    Please, please let it be true.

    WickedStepMoms last blog post..Snow

  • I like your list. Very thoughtful. Pimples one was funny and yeah, that was kind of me.

    “If he or she can just hear my reasoning, they’ll understand and think like I do.” I used to think this when I was younger.

    One I mostly believe these days is something like, “If you don’t learn a lesson in life, it will keeping popping up in various forms. If need be, the lesson will get harder each time it comes around; if need be, it will smack you in the fact to get your attention.”

    phhhsts last blog post..Wordless Wednesday #7

  • Amy

    I think that my truths have changed so much over the years — the only absolute truth that I can think of is that – someday I will die! So keeping that in mind I want to live a wonderful life!

    As a parent there were many, many truths that I thought …
    * If you did not raise a frilly girl, you would not have a frilly girl – WRONG!!!
    * If you don’t allow your boys (or girls) to play with weapons they would not – WRONG!!!
    * I am the parent, older, wiser … I can handle it – WRONG(sometimes)!
    *Happiness can be measured by what you have – WRONG (at least for me)!
    *Just because the three year old begs for hot dogs for lunch means they really want hot dogs for lunch — WRONG!!!! There is a good chance that they will change their mind during cooking time and not eat anything!

    But seriously, the one truth that I REALLY, REALLY want to believe is that ALL PEOPLE CAN BE KIND!!! I also truly believe that all things happen for a reason, sometimes not explainable but it is there!

    So there are my random thoughts — one truth is that I can prove is that I like to ramble on your blog!!!!

    Amys last blog post..Wordful Wednesday – Oh My She Is Beautiful!

  • Tricia

    Donna: I always say it’s my responsibility to make sure my child needs at least 20 year of therapy by the time he’s 18, so I’m quite sure I’ll pass along some questionable truths that he’ll throw out the door. Like you, I also think we need “truths” to believe in, but looking back over the last 15 years, especially, I can see how so many of the things I thought were absolutes have morphed with time, and I think that’s what they’re supposed to do, don’t you?

    Patois: Really? And wait a minute…you’re adding a wondering to my Wednesday and yes that makes my head ache. I’m small minded, you know, and I can only think about one thing at a time.

    tcb: I’m also more included to believe the second is true, but I’m really, really open to life proving me wrong.

    WickedStepMom: I’m not going to tell you it’s not true. Sounds like a worthwhile belief to me, that’s for sure. I like it.

    Phhhst: I also believe things come back and smack us in the face. I wish I could just learn things the first time around!

    Amy: I think if you believe in kindness, you most often find it. Don’t even get me started on the truths I held about parenting, my list would take up the whole darn Internet. I’m still looking for a couple of explanations of a couple of those give it time things, but as I search, I’ve learned lots of amazing things along the way. I love your ramblings, so don’t stop.

  • wow, you’ve got some doozies on there.

    when i was a teenager i would have died for my faith. i don’t think i’m capable of conviction like that anymore.

    Memarie Lanes last blog post..The Frugal Mindset

  • Well, I think my biggest truth-gone-wrong is that marriage and children would make all my dreams come true. Although I’m grateful for both, the fact is that they caused the death of some of my dreams. Like my dream of working around the globe, and living in different places. I’m pretty solidly stuck in suburbia right now instead. But, I’m on the countdown – 17 years and 5 months to living for me again, and nothing’s going to stop me!

    HeatherPrides last blog post..Oh, Claire, You’ll Never Guess…

  • I love your list. LOVE LOVE it. I guess I’ll steal one of your truths. Someone that truly loves me would never intentionally hurt me. Also, I credit my husband as my truth. He taught me to trust in someone again. It was difficult and took time, but he taught me I can always trust him. WONDERFUL POST!!!!

    steenky bees last blog post..Fattie: Week 4 (Jen’s Mean Lean Green Shake)

  • Awesome, awesome post. One of my truths that has officially bitten the dust: People will behave reasonably if I behave reasonably.

    goodfathers last blog post..Birthday tomorrow

  • it’s amazing how assumptions can fester into “truth.”

    That’s one of the things I’m working on this year is constantly asking myself, “is this something I know, or something I assume.”

    It’s really annoying to challenge yourself like that, and sometimes it makes me cranky because I have to let go of an idea that I rather enjoyed holding on to. such is life.

    judy haley (coffeejitters)s last blog post..A Blessing

  • The truth I always thought was “you stick to your guns and never change your mind”. When in essence, we all have the ability to and right to change our minds or change our belief systems. That’s how we grow, it’s what humbles us and makes us stronger.

    movin’ down the roads last blog post..My Favorite Things #3

  • Jan

    One of the things that I’ve learned is that, outside of mathematics and physics, there are no absolutes. Nothing is certain and nothing lasts forever, with the possible exception of baby cereal – you know, the kind that comes in a box that you reconstitute with formula or breast milk or water or juice or whatever and is supposed to be baby’s first food – that’s been dribbled down the arm of a high chair and left to harden for more than 5 minutes. Public works departments and construction crews should use that stuff to pave roads with, because you know nothing short of a jackhammer’s getting that crap off.

    Okay, so I’ve rediscovered My Great Truth. Disprove it. I dare you.

    Jans last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  • Tricia

    Marie: I’ve never had religious conviction, but have had great admiration for those who do over the years.

    HeatherPride: I hear you. I used to think I wanted to be Christiane Amanpour

    Jen: I adore what you said about your husband. I feel the same way about mine with one caveat…I hate it when his truth is right and mine has to be adjusted. I’m cranky that way.

    Goodfather: Oh yea and I also have found it to be true that even when I’m completely unreasonable, people will still act reasonably. Always makes me feel like a dope.

    Judy: I like to hold onto my assumptions too, and it’s incredibly hard to let them go, graciously.

    movin’ down the road: If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to stick to my guns…and I wish I hadn’t…

    Jan: I can’t disprove your One Great Truth. Once Aaron graduated to “real” food, I just bought a new house rather than try to jackhammer the cereal off everything. Quiet though, my sister is a lurker here and she’s having panic attacks about starting her baby on cereal. I keep telling her it will be fine, but your comment will surely become her One Great Truth as well, and now my niece will still be on a liquid diet well into her high school years.

  • Wonderful post, Tricia. Our truths must adjust and evolve over time or we simply don’t learn anything from our lives. Please don’t disprove this one.. I’m clinging to it. ;)

    I’ve come around to believing in at least the possibility of many things that I wouldn’t have given a second thought to at other times in my life – about nature, human nature and occasionally my own abilities. My eyes tend to open wider the older I get. That might explain the wrinkles.

    Hilarys last blog post..Of Red and White

  • I tell Mark once every six months is completely normal.
    PS. You know I’m joking, right?

    Sammanthias last blog post..It Ain’t The Pulitzer, But I’ll Take It

  • When my mom was sick, Daddy and I discovered one truth that became our mantra. “The only thing we know for certain is that we don’t know anything for certain.” I don’t think this one will change with time. But I can’t be certain. *sigh*

    Smart Mouth Broads last blog post..LIFE’S A BEACH

  • My truth: good moms are always cheerful and patient.

    I have learned over the past 9 years that good moms are often cranky and impatient. :)

  • Just thought I’d let you know that Part Two of “Recipe for Disaster” is up and waiting for you…

    SwampWITCHs last blog post..Recipe for Disaster, Continued

  • i’ve found that whole ‘if you can dream it, you can achieve it’ a bit elusive, not only for me but for others…life has a funny way of getting in the way. But memarie’s comment intrigued me as i have discovered, while blog surfing, a lot of young people absolutely passionate about their faith…and i find that fascinating. So why does that change? Is it the idealism of youth that changes or becomes a little worn out, or an ever broadening world view that changes the outlook…or what?

    thistles last blog post..The Choices According to Thistle

  • “The truth will set you free.”

    I love honesty. I like to tell the truth and skip the anxiety of stressing over discovery or working though things by myself. Sometimes being honest though has caused me a heck of a lot more trouble than say omission might have.

    “You get more bees with honey.”

    Tricia, you may remember I blogged about this a while back. Perhaps it’s true, in a way, but sometimes we think the goal is attracting bees when really squashing them is in order.

    Lisa Ps last blog post..Refrigerators

  • My truths that still hold true:
    • Preachers and politicians are not very different.
    • There is no stress relief equal to firing a semi-automatic weapon.
    • The best secrets are never shared.
    • The Beatles are the greatest rock band of all time.
    • Doing business with friends is a bad idea.
    • At some point in everyone’s life, you will live close to at least one annoying neighbor.
    • Single people sometimes fantasize about being in a relationship. People in a relationship sometimes fantasize about being single.
    • Honesty is a double-edged sword.

    Dougs last blog post..Election Post-Mortem

  • Tricia

    Doug: Semi-automatic you say. Hummm. I may have to try one to shoot the damn bees Lisa P mentioned. I’ve shot hand guns and rifles, but never a semi-automatic anything. I’m a tad more relaxed just thinking about it, actually, and wondering where the closest shotting range is. I think I have some homework to do for the weekend!

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