This is what blogging is about for me. Thought provoking dialogue (with some chuckles on the side).

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I read this post last night and although I live in Florida, I was not actually aware that my local schools allowed corporal punishment. This is a letter I sent this morning to the country superintendent.

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As an eight-year resident of ******* County I was appalled to read the the current ******** County School District Student Code of Conduct and to discover that corporal punishment is still an option in ******** County schools. I realize that the parents must approve and I do understand that discipline is needed with children, but paddling children in school is always wrong. For every administrator, teacher, parent and even child who feels that moderate corporal punishment is harmless and can be positive, there are numerous cases every year of injuries, abuse and trauma inflicted on school children by adults. There is a fine line between discipline and abuse and it is reprehensible that actions resulting in parents arrests for spanking their children at home are fine with the legal system if done in the school by school administrators.

There cannot be enough safeguards or witnesses to protect the child when the goal is to inflict physical pain upon the child. Every month you can read media articles and lawsuits against school districts for allowing children to be abused. Coaches and teachers rape children constantly in this country and yet school districts have followed the path of the church and covered up many of the assaults. What school boards are failing to realize is that spanking, paddling, caning, strapping and other forms of corporal punishment are considered to be sexual amongst consenting adults. Many adult females who practice spanking as adults commonly relive parental and/or school punishments and admit to being sexual aroused during those childhood punishments. Spanking is sex among adults and allowing adults to spank children can be construed as sexual by both the adult and child. Is that the perception that you and the ******** County School District intend from allowing corporal punishment in schools?

In the policy it does not state that male cannot paddle female or that female cannot paddle male. Even so no matter with the best of intentions and the best written policy there cannot be adequate protection for the child as nearly every court case has shown. Even if the parent has not given permission to paddle their child and even if a paddling results in injuries and hospitalization the parent and child will lose in court even if they take the case all the way to the Supreme Court. That is unacceptable in 2008 when coaches, teachers and administrators cannot be held liable for actions that a parent would wind up in jail for duplicating. I do not have children but I assure you that I would never allow a strange adult to physical assault my child. Corporal punishment in schools is a barbaric practice that perpetuates the myth that beaten children are happy children. That is a flat out lie.

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during my childhood, my mother was quick to both physical and mental abuse (let’s call it what it was)…my dad on the other hand, was the talker and teacher…i always felt worse about doing ‘bad things’ and learned from him what was acceptable behaviour and what was not…while only learning to resent my mother for her actions…i feared her, but did not respect her

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Whether a slap on the butt or a pill, the whole idea of a quick fix is not working, and we certainly have a ton of questions to ask ourselves regarding the current and often sad state of affairs, and what we expect of our children, of our educational systems, and of ourselves as parents, that’s for sure.

As a society we frequently seem to be looking for a quick fix – a pill for illness or a slap on the butt — to me neither address the issues! Parenting takes so much time and effort and we need to take this responsibility when we choose to be a parent!

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I question why the idea of discipline for children should include physical punishment. You’re right that there is a terrible endemic in our society that allows for disrespect to propagate, but I think the best way to teach respect is to model respect, not to demand it with physical force. Demanding respect doesn’t work in adult relationships, why do we think it should work in adult/child relationships? Rather than create respect, I contend that when we use corporal punishment we create fear, which is an unhealthy prerequisite to learning. I wonder if schools that allow corporal punishment find less disciplinary issues than those that don’t? I doubt it, but would be interested to know.

I don’t think there’s a line we can draw that says hitting a child is OK as long as it’s not TOO hard, or TOO harsh…as long as it doesn’t leave marks, etc. There are so, so many strategies for effective parenting, education and discipline that are more involved than “Honey, don’t do that” but as parents we have to take the time to read the research and implement the strategies. I’m reading a book called, “Beyond Discipline from Compliance to Community” by Alfie Kohn that provides wonderful insights and suggestions to classroom management, and I highly recommend it for anyone looking to read more about alternative methods that are working.