Wondering on Wednesday…A Right to Know Our Biology?

October 29th, 2008 • Related • Filed Under

I was watching a TV show last week and part of the story line dealt with a 15-year-old boy who was conceived using anonymous, donated sperm. The story asked the question of whether or not he had a right to learn the identity of his biological father. The sperm bank refused to acknowledge the donor’s identity and the young boy and his mother took the company to court.

Ethicists, doctors, parents and adult children involved in anonymous conception through donated eggs, embryos or sperm have very divergent opinions on the right to know. Obviously the infertility industry is concerned that releasing donor information would threaten donor availability. One of the strongest claims is that people who donate reproductive pieces don’t want to worry that some day in the future a person will come knocking on his or her door and introduce themselves as a long-lost child. On the other end of the debate is a person’s perceived right to know his or her biological parent, health and family history.

In April, 2005, The UK passed a law that gives donor-conceived children the right to trace their biological parents when they reach 18. The Government said that children’s rights to discover their genetic origins outweighed donors’ right to privacy. As a result, anonymous sperm and egg donations have significantly decreased and the removal of anonymity has provoked a crisis in fertility treatment that is denying couples treatment and creating multiple-year waiting lists. In fact, The Times reported that infertility therapy with donated sperm has collapsed to the lowest levels, ever.

Is it our right to know our biological beginnings? Over the decades we’ve changed stance on closed adoption and today birth mother’s often choose a family for their child. Adoptive parents send annual photos and updates to biological parents, and many families stay in touch on an even more routine basis. There’s a reason the closed vs open adoption changes in attitude have taken place. Should we also embrace a change in attitude about anonymity related to infertility and donor-conceived children?

I’m wondering on Wednesday—what do you think?

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Comment by donna on 29 October 2008:

I guess that if I were concevied by donor eggs that I would at least like the right to know the health history of my parents. But on the other hand what does it change. I also saw that same show and if I am correct the young man was dating his sister who was also concevied by a donor egg. I guess that I can understand both sides of the story but tend to lean stronger on the side of you have a right to know. All the court did in the case of the teenage boy was to tell them that they did in deed have the same father. How awful that could have been.
Comment by Doug on 29 October 2008:

Wow. Knotty issue. I think I’d err on the side of privacy, because I don’t really view sperm donation any different from any other medical procedure for which I’d value privacy. If a donor purposely chose to be anonymous and is not aware of the destination of his seed (be it research, infertility treatments, etc.), his choice was first before the others and should be respected.

Dougs last blog post..Rolling My Eyes At Open Enrollment - My HRA Experience
Comment by thistle on 29 October 2008:

wow…that is an interesting question! And what are the chances of those two half-siblings meeting each other, let alone dating…These are the inherent problems of medical technology outpacing medical ethics…ethics and philosophy have always been challenging, throw in the legal system and setting precedents and it really gets complicated…

thistles last blog post..Wordless Wednesday…Halloween Edition
Comment by thistle on 29 October 2008:

forgot to add…i really like this ‘wondering on wednesday’ idea, what a great way to get us thinking hard and asking questions!!

thistles last blog post..Wordless Wednesday…Halloween Edition
Comment by Memarie Lane on 29 October 2008:

one of my best friends is adopted. she hired a p.i. to find out about her biological parents, as she was facing a series of serious health issues. once she got the basic facts she chose to dig no further. it turned out one of her parents was a celebrity and she didn’t want to turn herself or them into a tabloid curiosity.

i once considered being a surrogate. i wouldn’t have a problem with that, using the genetic material of others. but i wouldn’t do egg donation because i would always wonder about “my” child out there somewhere. identity and privacy aside, my longing would never cease.

Memarie Lanes last blog post..How The Mighty Have Not Fallen
Comment by Stella on 29 October 2008:

Please see the link >

http://needing-fathers.blogspot.com
Comment by Stella on 29 October 2008:

Being donated is horrible, so much so that we have a support group, seen on the link below. Donorship lets down those it was designed for making it pointless to bother with. All for nine months gestation! Often people can have opinions about our plight even though they are not in the plight themselves, so on the link you will also find answers to the sorts of queries that so often come up in debate:

http://www.tangledwebs.org.uk/tw/support
Comment by goodfather on 29 October 2008:

Ohhh yeah, this post hits me where I live. The big consideration for me is not ME so much, as MY KIDS. When doctors ask my kids if they have a disease in ‘their family’, they can’t talk about my side.

YES. I think I should be allowed to know what my medical (genetic) history is. It’s wrong that I (as an adopted child) am excluded from information that most people just take for granted.

goodfathers last blog post..Save the arts in schools!
Comment by Amy on 29 October 2008:

I think it is hard — I agree with Thistle above that ethics and technology are not in sync! I can understand the wanting privacy as a donor BUT I also think that honesty is more important. I think that knowing ‘who you are’ and ‘where you come from’ is an important part of how we develop and when you throw a unknown into the factor it makes it hard to process!

Now I do think that there are times when it is hard to tell just how much information is okay and at what point and all that jazz! Such a tough issue!

Amys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - I Love Mud!
Comment by Jan on 29 October 2008:

Stella, I went to the site and read the arguments against donor conception. I’m sorry you are so resentful that you don’t know one of your birth parents - your father, I assume, since the site deals almost exclusively with sperm donation and takes such an avid stance that those who are donated are cheated because they have no relationship with their “real” father.

I do want to tell you - without in any way impugning your stance on the matter or belittling how you feel - that knowing your birth parent, father in this case, is NO guarantee that you will have any sort of a “meaningful relationship” with him. Having a “biological connection” with a father is NO guarantee that the person will be there for you, take responsibility for you or even love you.

Trust me. I know.

Jans last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Comment by Tricia on 29 October 2008:

I think everyone should have a right to their medical history as Goodfather mentioned, and that information should be made available regardless of laws related to anonymity. In my mind, the right to know and possibly make contact with a biological parent is a different issue, with broader psychological implications.

Stella: Thanks for the link. I will definitely click through to read what’s being said by people who have a perspective of actually being a donor-conceived child.

Jan: I’ve read too many stories this week about child abuse, and you really hit the nail on the proverbial head. Biology certainly doesn’t guarantee love, or even safety. I’m sending you a great big hug!!
Comment by Tricia on 29 October 2008:

Amy: I also wonder though does “who you are” have that much to do with “where you came from” unless you actually grew up in that environment. Perhaps it’s another way to contemplate the ‘nurture vs. nature’ question. How much of who we are is actually genetic and how much is environmental?

Marie: Your comment, combined with Doug’s, makes me wonder if women feel more of an “attachment” to an egg than a man does to sperm. I wonder if there’s a gender component to the debate.
Comment by patois on 29 October 2008:

I know where I stand on the donated egg or sperm side of it: the donor, I have to assume, gives a detailed medical history. When purchasing the egg or sperm, the woman enters into a contract which, I again have to assume, grants the donor a modicum of privacy. I realize that when the resulting child is born that the child didn’t grant that same privacy, but I wind up believing the child has to abide by the contract the parents signed. Is that easy for me to think, given that I’m not a product of such? Yeah, I’m sure it is. Again, this is contingent on a full medical history being provided by the donor. I can understand the desire for relevant medical information.

patoiss last blog post..Wordy Wednesday #36: Blame the Mother
Comment by stepping over the junk on 29 October 2008:

I think for health reasons, yes. Egg donors are different than someone giving birth and then giving up for adoption. The emotional reason for that is reason enough on either end.

stepping over the junks last blog post..Prices
Comment by gary on 29 October 2008:

I think the info should be shared.

garys last blog post..a dusting of snow and a happy pair of dogs
Comment by Doug on 29 October 2008:

Tricia - I think you’ve got a point about the gender issue. Having a relatively infinite supply of anything makes it less valuable. That’s probably why anonymous sperm donors prefer the anonymity - they’re probably donating for cash. Conversely, a woman who donates an egg has to endure an invasive procedure and gives up one chance at a child.

Patois - you’ve got the idea. Sperm donors should be able to provide a complete medical history that accompanies the donation.

Dougs last blog post..The World Series Collides With Politics
Comment by Amy on 29 October 2008:

I have enjoyed reading everyone’s thoughts! It is interesting. No I do not think that who you are has very much to do with where you came from. Actually I think that the reality is that your environment really does determine more of who you are … I guess what I mean is that there are several issues at hand:

1. If a child/adult finds out without the proper explanations, it can be devastating.

2. Even if you are very loved and have the perfect life at home, if there is an unknown that you can not answer, it may be hard to process. It seems human nature likes answers!

I have to say I am undecided regarding egg/sperm donation. With proper medical history and honesty about the donation maybe there really is no need to disclose the donor.

But then I have these mixed feelings about if you are going to contribute to bringing a child into this world … I am not positive what I expect but somehow I think there is something!

Regarding adoption I believe that if you are going to tell someone that they are adopted then they have a right to more information.

I apparently still have a lot more wondering to do, as I can not even complete a sentence regarding this subject. Why are you making me think so much in the middle of the week!!!!!!????

Amys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - I Love Mud!
Comment by Smart Mouth Broad on 29 October 2008:

I agree that medical history should be made available and some sort of id that would avoid siblings marrying each other in the future. However, I don’t think it would be fair to reveal identity unless the donor consented. This was not what they signed up for. And like Jan said, knowing who this person is doesn’t guarantee a relationship. And might the rejection be worse than not knowing?

Smart Mouth Broads last blog post..SHUT UP AND PRAY (A Roadtrip with Lucy)
Comment by WickedStepMom on 30 October 2008:

Late to the party..

I think that the people that are adopted or conceived with donated stuff, have a right to know their medical histories but nothing really beyond that. I know that it sounds unfair but, if there weren’t donors, we would have a situation like they do in the UK. And I think the open adoption is a bad idea. That is why people are adopting from foreign countries. They are afraid that one day, the bio-parents will want the kids back and get them. People should know their medical histories but, they do not have the right to intrude on people’s lives that did not want them. And personally, if I knew I wasn’t wanted by my bio-parents I wouldn’t want to track them down.

WickedStepMoms last blog post..Safe-haven
Comment by Tricia on 30 October 2008:

This conversation brings up so many more questions in my mind, I think I could spin 20 more posts. One of the things I love about people who comment here is that you’re rarely drive-by shooters!