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Writing is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.

— Winston Churchill

Fair. What’s That?

We all know that life is unfair, right? The idea of fairness is intoxicating but perhaps semantical. Bear with me for a minute. I’m sure to meander a bit as I share two examples of “unfair” that have me jumping up and down and considering medication.

1). My plan for retirement is quickly being slaughtered. I was expecting to spend the next 20 years heavily investing in my son’s education so that one day he’d have a lucrative career and feel morally obligated to support me in a rather luxurious fashion as I grow old and cranky.

It’s not fair that the goals I carefully-crafted for my self son, will be overshadowed by a national debt that probably means he’ll have to pursue student loans and will be paying exuberant taxes well into his great grand children’s college years. And although Jen at Juggling Life often writes about the wonderful attributes of young people growing independent, I really had been counting on the financial benefits of keeping my child firmly bound by apron strings.

The increase in income taxes I’m expecting, including the ones we’ll be paying to help off-set $25 billion for American auto makers who can’t get their heads out of their nether regions to actually compete in today’s market place…well I think it means I’ll have to abandon my fabulous idea of being put-out-to-pasture in a European beach house, at my son’s expense. My future daughter-in-law better love me. We may have to share a kitchen where I’ll munch prunes and forget to wear my dentures.

2). Perhaps equally unfair—I recently joined the gym (I’ve even been a few times), and while struggling to recapture my exercise mojo, I gained two pounds. Perhaps I should have joined Mrs. G.’s 5K Ass Project or Mrs. Schmitty’s BlubHer Overhall, but I decided to go it alone and avoid the shame.

But wait, that’s not the worst of it. My husband, the guy who only knows cellulite exists because he can see it on my ass and thighs? Yea, him! He lost four pounds. Want to know the ONE thing he changed? He stopped eating cookies for a week. ONE week. For flip’s sake, I could stop eating cookies for a year and still not lose four pounds.

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32 comments to Fair. What’s That?

  • Nothings fair when it comes to men and weight loss. Grrr……I despise those damn man genes.

    Midlife Slicess last blog post..Me Write Pretty Someday

  • Shiela

    You’re building muscle my dear, it weighs more than fat!

  • It’s not fair, that’s what it is.

    I wasn’t a party to any of this real estate boom or bad lending. But my retirement is now ******. Sorry to use imaginary bad language on your blog. I received a small inheritance, which I invested (with a lot of professional advice) and while I had lost some money over the last year, it was tolerable. But now I dread to see the next statement. And my kids’ college funds? I’m thinking they will be in the “toilet.” But do I sell out and add to the panic, or do I stick it out for the long run as I have always been told to do with investments? Here I though I was doing so great. Now I feel I should have left in “under the mattress” like my mother did.

    Smalltown Moms last blog post..Pirate Faire

  • Oh what an asshat. Kidding, sorta. Not. Why IS IT that guys lose weight faster AND don’t have to do labor? That ain’t right. :)

    MamaGeeks last blog post..All We Are Saying Is Give Leaf A Chance.

  • My husband can think about cutting back and lose weight. It kills me. My oldest is in college now. My second will begin college in 9 months. We’ve saved for their college every month since their birth. Now when we would need the money? It’s value is next to nothing. And you can forget about college loans – there’s a credit freeze. Even with stellar credit, there will be no loans. Life is not fair.

  • if I stress out, I lose weight. although, then, I get sick. SO I can be hefty and healthy or thin and sick. heh heh. I’d love to lost five pounds just so I dont have that little “lip” hanging over my jeans.

    stepping over the junks last blog post..Chopped Liver

  • I just joined a gym! Now I just need to start going :-) and then see if I lose or gain weight. But I would need to weigh myself first and I am afraid!

    notjustbarbras last blog post..Time Alone with The Boy

  • HaHAHAHAHA! It’s true – that is all unfair and I too could not lose 4 lbs. even if I stopped eating cookies for a year – HA!

    Great post!

    See you – Kellan

  • donna

    You mean that I can’t count on you to take care of me when I retire? Now what am I going to do? As far as the gym goes, keep it up, you will begin to see a difference soon.Of corse I am one to talk, right.
    We are just watching our retirement vanish before our eyes. I don’t know what we will do. It is pretty scarey. I guess that we will have to work for the rest of our lives. (or come and live with you and Kim)
    Great post, this is on the minds of millions of Americans.
    XOXO

  • I read your “about.” Cute bio! Great website over here — the layout and all! And, here I thought I was finally gettin’ widgy with mine! LOL!

    Happy Tuesday!

    Farmer*sWifes last blog post..5:13 in.the.morning.

  • Jan

    Well, you must have a strategy. When I diet, I bake plenty of bread and brownies and cake, hard as it is for me not to eat them. You see, Beloved has less will power than I do; that way, when I diet he won’t be eating what I eat and therefore I won’t be completely demoralized because he’s lost 20 pounds and I’ve lost 3 ounces.

    Jans last blog post..Further Proof I Am Weird

  • Amy

    Damn men!!! My hubby is the same and as I have either been pregnant or nursing for the past million years, my weight has been crazy! Another really unfair is that the only time I seem to loose anything is in the first trimester of pregnancy (16 pounds this time) but believe me it all comes back!!!

    As for the economics fairness … my head hurts too much to even think about this right now!!!!

    Who said life was fair?????

    Amys last blog post..Half Way There

  • Hee hee. I read #1 (’plan for retirement is quickly being slaughtered’) as ‘plan for retirement is being slaughtered quickly’.

    I thought, ‘Yup. That’s my plan too.’

    goodfathers last blog post..One year old

  • We currently have the opposite problem. He is gaining and I am losing. Evil food allergies.

    WickedStepMoms last blog post..Keeping Your Children Safe Online: Part I

  • yes, but that means NO COOKIES, which is no fun!

    garys last blog post..time and place!

  • Men can simply LOOK at a gym or diet book and lose 10 pounds.

    Sigh…just not fair…

    Nothing Fancys last blog post..Sweet Victory!

  • OHHHH how much do I relate to all of the above!!!! My co-workers and I were just bemoaning our 401(k) plans today. Mine lost a crazy amount of money.

    And girlfriend, I just started a gym membership this week too! If you were closer we could be each other’s “accountability partner” or whatever you call it! But then you’d be responsible for smacking my hands away from the yellow curry and you probably wouldn’t want that….

    HeatherPrides last blog post..A Pocketful of Wishes

  • Tricia

    I do at least feel better reading through my gal-pal comments and to know that all your husbands (except WSM’s Bear) find male metabolism completely unfair.

    Jan: You’re strategy is brilliant. My husband has a HUGE, nagging sweet tooth and loves it when I bake and I can resist if it’s not chocolate.

    As for the Market and the forthcoming taxes that are sure to hit us next year to cover the budget Congress submitted this week, well I’m trying to convince myself to be more optimistic today. And yesterday’s 777 point dip in the Dow, $1.3 trillion, it’s pocket change…

  • I’m coming to grips with the reality that I probably won’t be able to retire until I’m physically unable to work. With that in mind, I’m peppering my life with fun stuff that lots of people wait until retirement to do. No way am I waiting until I’m 65 to travel, eat and drink well and otherwise experience the world.

    I accept that life isn’t fair, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to wait around for something to ‘even out.’

    Dougs last blog post..My Favorite Online Political Quiz

  • Tricia

    Great attitude Doug and one that I need to be better at adopting. Maybe we should all vow to die broke and just enjoy the journey and the hell with the future. It certainly sounds like more fun and less stressful. Well, maybe not, but your plan does in fact make sense and make for a happier life.

  • Tricia, it doesn’t really appear that the boomers have been too cautious about setting up the future for us. Without being anarchic, I think people will just start having to be concerned about their own families and selves…

    Dougs last blog post..My Favorite Online Political Quiz

  • Tricia

    Doug: Isn’t that the truth! And as financial planners and media have discussed for several years the largest transfer of wealth in all time from Baby Boomers to Gen X and Millenials, we’ve not discussed in much depth what else they’re handing us. Hummm sounds like a blog post that you could really sink your teeth into, and I’d love to read…

  • LOL. My thoughts exactly. I was telling babes recently that I have to make sure that Cookie gets a good education so that when I grow old someday, Cooks will fund my extravagant taste in fashion. LOL. Hmmmmm….

    About the weight gain thingy. Yep, u’re building muscle. Give it a month or two, and you’ll end up looking like Cindy Crawford. :)

    Brandygirls last blog post..Sick.

  • Four pounds in one week? Not fair is right.

    Mrs. G.s last blog post..Miss G guest post.

  • Jen

    Men, weight loss and money. Scary, scary blog stuffs!

    Good luck with the gym. I’m not even brave enough to join.

    Jens last blog post..I just don’t know

  • Life IS unfair. I agree: fairness is a beautiful idea – in theory.

    It’s very common to gain a little water weight when you start exercising. Hang in there!

  • You know, men can lose weight just by thinking about it, or by skipping one meal. I always sneak my diet habits when I’m beginning any sort of excercise routine. I want that first month head start so I don’t totally feel inadequate.

    P.S.: In my mind, you look like Tina Fey. Your avatar leads me to believe so.

    jenboglass (steenky bee)s last blog post..Reese’s Reign of Terror Would be an Awesome Wrestling Name

  • Tricia

    Jenboglass, Thanks, I think. That avatar is actually an illustration of me. It’s my alter ego self but with higher-riding breasts. I think Tina Fey is deliciously witty and cute, but does that mean you think I look like Sarah Palin? Hummm. If so, conservative men think I’m hot and feminists hate my hair.

  • Thanks for the shout out.

    My husband used to gain and lose 10 lbs by either eating or not eating candy. Am I evil for being secretly happy that’s it not quite as easy as that now that he’s hit 45?

    Jenn @ Juggling Lifes last blog post..Missing My Mojo

  • Oh God, don’t get me started on how my hubby goes from the ginormous white mocha latte with whipped cream to a medium size and loses weight. AND how there is more pressure for women to lose that damn weight than men. Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!

    Well heck, you got me started anyway.

    Margarets last blog post..When Food Gets in the Way

  • My students and my children always say, “It’s not fair!” I would respond, “It’s not meant to be so get over it!”

    Chriss last blog post..Jack Of All Trades

  • I am with you on all counts…my theory on your weight gain – muscle weighs more than fat, and I always gain a little when I start working out again. At least I feel better when I tell myself that!

    Steph @ Problem Solvin Moms last blog post..Here and There

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