Comments on: Daddy Guilt?

By: Tricia

Tricia — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 02:55:52 +0000

Great feedback here, thanks. I’ve been trying to get my husband to let me pick his brain about changes in attitude at they relate to fathering for an article I want to write. He has five children ages 35, 34, 24, 21, & 4. He’s literally parenting three generations. The impressions and stories his kids have are very different from each other, and his self-expectations as well as the expectations of society have shifted tremendously. I May just have to strap him to a chair and bribe him with chocolate chip cookies.

By: judy haley (coffeejitters)

judy haley (coffeejitters) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:42:35 +0000

I think there is definitely a cultural element involved in Mommies feeling slightly more guilty about having interests and responsibilities that extend beyond child care. but I know plenty of men who endure those feelings as well. When i was a baby Dad's were not as active in their kids lives as they are now so things may change a bit. But even way back then, my dad was working two jobs but would come home between shifts, read us a bedtime story, then grab a sandwich before rushing off to the second job. judy haley (coffeejitters)s last blog post..Golden Gardens, Seattle

By: Dave Fowler

Dave Fowler — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:32:29 +0000

Tricia, Thanks. It was great to see her walking, and even better today because she’s so pleased with her new found skill. Of course it means I’m running around a lot more trying to keep her out of mischief.

I’ve been thinking about the guilt thing a little bit more and realise that much of my guilt came from walking out of the door in the morning and leaving my wife with four kids to deal with. This was especially true whilst she was nursing. I could see she was exhausted but there was nothing I could do, I had to go to work. I also felt bad when I had to stay late at work. I now know what it’s like to wait all day hoping for 5pm to arrive so that your partner can take some of the burden, only to get a phone call saying they’ll be late. Sounds silly but sometimes it can be a bit crushing.

I have to say that I’ve also felt what Margaret describes above. It’s a tough balance.

Dave.

By: HeatherPride

HeatherPride — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 19:36:36 +0000

I don't know, but I'm probably guilty of sending my husband on a guilt trip or two about the amount of time he devotes to his job!! (I know, bad!) HeatherPrides last blog post..It's Not Easy Being Green

By: Margaret

Margaret — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 02:04:10 +0000

I would think that guilt would stem from whatever the person feels his or her responsibility is. If a father feels he should be with his kids more and isn't, he'll feel guilty. This can come just from working long hours at the office, let alone the normal 8 hours. If a father feels he should be working to support the family and isn't, he'll feel guilty about that. Margarets last blog post..There's Never a Hero Around When you Need One

By: Lisa P

Lisa P — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 01:03:08 +0000

Great thing to ponder. I never thought about it much. My husband works from home now so we are both always around. We love the family time we have. As for your question, I imagine either could feel an element of guilt. Women have more to deal with, however. Women are much more likely to have the opinions of others on the matter added to their own personal feelings. Lisa Ps last blog post..Wearing The Panties

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 00:13:36 +0000

I think it’s inherently female. But, I do think men experience it at times – more in the “I’m the provider” sense than what us women feel.

Jens last blog post..Welcome!!

By: stepping over the junk

stepping over the junk — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 23:30:56 +0000

my exhusband believes that I should be working outside of the home and not be with the kids and there should be a nanny staying with the kids while he works and while I work outside of the home. He thinks my business is stupid, even though it supplements my child support, and I should be working as a secretary to make more income (since that is all I have ever done for the most part, other than my creative design business) so he doesn't have to pay child support. He feels no guilt. Cancelling weekends and visits with the kids but being resentful that i am the one there caring for them while he is doing other things that are a top priority. Maybe he feels guilt and that's how he expresses it., I dont know., stepping over the junks last blog post..Coooooofffeeeeeee

By: Memarie Lane

Memarie Lane — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:17:54 +0000

My husband would love to be a SAHD, but he doesn't feel guilt or anything about not doing so. He's told me many times that guilt is a "woman thing." Memarie Lanes last blog post..Update on Jessamine

By: Mrs. G.

Mrs. G. — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:09:38 +0000

One of the things I wish I could steal from my husband is his lack of guilt. He just doesn't go there. Me, I work not to live there. Mrs. G.s last blog post..Probably Mrs. G's Last Post About the Presidential Election