The Trade … Help Me Be Bribed
I used to work in PR. If you’re not familiar with the field, just think of it as journalism without any pretense of objectivity. Anyway … I often worked with photographers and sometimes I’d even grab a camera if we didn’t have a professional shooter on-site.
People would see me with a zoom in-hand and they’d run. In the other direction. As fast as they could. While pretending not to have seen me. It used to drive me a tad crazier. It’s not like I ever released photos without making sure everyone looked fabulous. OK so it happened, but only once.
I understand that people don’t like to be photographed. I don’t like to be photographed and although I was rather unsympathetic to clients’ and colleagues’ cries for mercy, I was always secretly relieved to be on the other side of the black box.
Karma is a bitch, right? Fast forward to present day.
My incredibly talented husband is in the process of setting up a photography studio and to test his new equipment, he needs sympathetic suckers guinea pigs. Our four-year-old will only humor his father for 28 seconds at a time, which leaves me as the numero uno sympathetic sucker guinea pig. I can be reasoned with. I can even be bribed, but pleassssseeeee. We’ve got to develop some sort of an award system or something.
When I arrived home Monday night at 11:00, my husband was pee-in-his-pants excited over the arrival of some new lighting equipment. I’d been out of town for several days, which in my book-of-marriage-rules should entice a between-the-sheets welcome home party. My husband must have forgotten to re-read that particular chapter because what he had in mind had everything to do with his passion, and absolutely nothing to do with mine.
What did he want me to do at 11:00 PM after having spent the majority of my day delayed in an airport? He wanted me to squish my face into a happy profile and let him shoot me while he adjusted umbrellas and lights and lenses and meters and, and, and.
Today when he said, “do you have some time to help me out?” I knew what he actually meant was, “will you humor me and let me take your picture a gazillion more times.”
So, dear reader, here’s my dilemma…
Did I mentioned I can be bribed? If I have to humor him than it only seems fair that he has to provide something in return. I’m coming up short in the brilliant idea department. (Please keep in mind that my husband already does an ample portion of cooking, cleaning, helping with our son and he even does laundry, so trading toilet duty for studio time isn’t going to put me ahead of the game.)
What should I ask for in return for my patience and time?
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Comment by Jan on 27 August 2008:
Holy F-Stop - he IS talented! Those photos are GREAT!
As for what he should bribe you with…don’t ask me - my price would be to get fired (I hate bookkeeping with a pink and purple passion).
Do you care for sparkly things of a precious/semi precious nature?
Comment by Tricia on 27 August 2008:
Jan: You may be onto something. I could tell him he needs to become rich and famous and then I can fire myself. Hummm, then I could work on that book I keep promising myself I’ll write.
Comment by stepping over the junk on 27 August 2008:
I just browsed his site…TOTALLY gorgeous. I lived in Vermont for a while and saw much of that, I miss it. He captured the Fall beautifully. Among other things in all the other albums. He’s bookmarked in my “other artists” bookmark folder
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Comment by Laura on 28 August 2008:
C”mon now Tricia this one is easy. passion for passion right? a win win for both of you… a fair deal… now granted he gets a win win win.. but I know you can negotiate favorable terms….
Comment by gary on 28 August 2008:
Well, um, swap some, you know, time in the sheets for some portrait practice? Kind of like “honey, do me, then we’ll do the portrait?”.
On the other hand, we use cash around this house. A big favor for the spouse means open the wallet and pay up.
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Comment by WickedStepMom on 28 August 2008:
I would ask for veto rights for any photos that he wants to keep. That way, you can veto any that you don’t like. And I would also put a clause that if he doesn’t get rich in like 5 years, he needs to get a new volunteer. By that point, you can make it one of Aaron’s chores!
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Comment by MamaGeek on 28 August 2008:
Okay, I have to side with your hubby. Just because I know that passion. But you should DEFINITELY hold a bribe, because, yeah IT WILL WORK.
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Comment by Tricia on 28 August 2008:
All the sexual innuendo is much appreciated and the idea of trading out favors for studio time does seem like a win-win for everyone. I have to say that WickedStepMom’s idea to include a clause regarding a five-year time frame and adding modeling to Aaron’s chore list is so brilliant, I’ve contacted an attorney to write up the contract. Of course the contract includes five years of “trades” as well. All is fair in love & photography!
Comment by Amy on 29 August 2008:
I have a couple children that would love to be ‘models’ — do you have props and dress up clothes, etc… we are closer now!!
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Comment by Tricia on 29 August 2008:
I’ll have to mention that he needs to get props. The ones in my closet aren’t appropriate for your children.
Comment by Wendy on 29 August 2008:
Ummm. I always have cat-that-ate-the-canary grin for about an hour after great sex. And feel utterly beautiful and for once wouldn’t mind having my picture taken. Seems like that would be the perfect time.
Or shiny sparkly things which you wear on your body.
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Comment by Steph @ Problem Solvin Mom on 30 August 2008:
All wonderful suggestions above, so I’ll go a different route. What have you really been wanting lately that you don’t think you would normally be able to negotiate? A weekend getaway? A “toy” of your own? (for me that would be a camera, for you, maybe not?!) A girls night out for each camera session? These are a few of my favorite things…I’m just sayin’
Keep us posted on how you close this deal!
Steph
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Comment by manager mom on 30 August 2008:
Well, I don’t know what you should ask for, but I know what you could suggest to get that between-the-sheets welcome home party you were looking for… perhaps some photos of the *ahem* scantily clad variety? He gets to test his equipment… and then… (insert your own ending here)
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