Writing is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.

— Winston Churchill

I May Love Your Dog

Dear Neighbor,

I love dogs. My dogs. I may even love your dog, but I promise I’m not going to love you if you don’t stop your dog from barking and barking and barking and more barking so early in the morning and so late at night. Have you noticed that when my dogs start to bark, I make them stop? Yea, well, that’s what neighbors are supposed to do. Really. It’s in the How to Be a Nice Neighbor Handbook. I’ll be happy to get you a copy.

Oh yea, and are you the same person who lets your dog leave big presents on our front lawn? Maybe you thought that since we have two large dogs, we’d not notice an extra pile or two. We notice. Our dogs don’t leave presents in the front yard. They’re potty trained, and their potty is not our front yard, but it could be your front yard pretty soon.

Welcome to the neighborhood. I look forward to getting to know you, and your dogs.



Share and Enjoy:
  • TwitThis
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • Print

12 comments to I May Love Your Dog

  • eek! I am very sensitive to this, with two (now one) very big dogs and a noisy little beagle. I try very hard to keep them quiet and clean! And everybody loves them when we walk around, so I guess we do OK.

    garys last blog post..a few words from Spike

  • Amy

    YEAH — well as much as I like dogs that belong to other people … I too hate the fact that my children step in dog poop all the time on OUR lawn and we do not have a dog!!!!!!

  • The barking would drive me nuts too. I can’t stand it when the neighbors dog barks all night. I just want to go to thier house and kick them. The dog, of course, doesn’t know any better but the humans do, so they are fair game.

    WickedStepMoms last blog post..“Anyone ever tell you, you look like Bjork?”

  • Our neighbors have two yappy dogs (little Westies). They are out in the yard yipping by 6AM, and sometimes are still out there at 11PM when I go to bed. If you don’t want to listen to your yippy dogs, chances are no one else will want to either!

    Sydneys last blog post..Thanks for stopping by!

  • Have you seen the Seineld episode where Elaine, Kramer and Newman take a barking neighborhood dog and drive him out to be free in the country. Watch it-you might get some good ideas.

    Mrs. G.s last blog post..What the Hell?

  • Our former neighbor’s dog barked constantly at any bit of motion or noise. They didn’t want to discourage him b/c they felt that made him a better guard dog.

    Lisa Ps last blog post..Bleep

  • I was that neighbor for about a month. Then I got rid of it. Maybe your neighbors should do the same.

    Wendys last blog post..Dear Tripp

  • a long time ago my dad recorded our neighbor’s dogs barking all day while the neighbors were at work. they didnt believe that the dogs barked when we complained. My dad went over there and made them listen to the recording for a full hour. I am surprised they didnt call the cops. Instead, they moved the dogs to the other side of the house

    stepping over the junks last blog post..A Friend and a bit from the past

  • I feel (and hear) your pain. In regards to the dog poop…the best place to put that is right outside their vehicle driver or passenger door (if the park outside). Or right by their mailbox where they’ll step in it while getting their mail. Or right outside their front door. Late night recon missions are a ton of fun. Yeah, you’re trespassing, but so was their dog on your yard.
    In regards to the barking…record it with one of those inexpensive voice-activated recorders. Check your city or county noise ordinances and use it to your advantage. The recording comes in very handy to make your case. If you don’t have a strong ordinance in your area, then get busy and make your council pass one. Trust me, I’ve been on this noise disturbance issue for over a year and have found out that dogs barking and interrupting daily life for neighbors is a WORLDWIDE problem. Don’t take the crap (the real crap and the barking.) Your neighbors are irresponsible and should not have a dog. Contact your local animal services…one visit from them might just get the message through. Good luck.
    Visit for creative, legal ways to get your neighbor to take responsibility. “A dog kept outside is not a pet, it is a possession.”
    P.S. Tape a copy of this blog to their front door…

  • Jen

    Oh no! My dogs bark, but they shut it when we tell them too, usually. We have a dog in our neighborhood that has the high pitched, yippy type bark that I’d like to do something naughty to. And the poo in the yard – we had that issue too. Until I watched out for the offender and ran outside mid-movement and stared. Didn’t happen again.

    Jens last blog post..Ahh Wednesday

  • Oh how inconsiderate!!!!! I can’t stand neighbours like that. My dog doesn’t bark. She sleeps on my bed the entire day!!! And comes alive only when she wants to eat and goes out for her walkies. She’s a brat.

    Brandygirls last blog post..Here’s my Gospel, according to Puke.

  • Amen sister! It’s unbelievable to me that people can be so inconsiderate…or completely oblivious. Check out this post and feel free to print it off and stick it in the offender’s mailbox.

    Good luck!

    thatcoolbroads last blog post..Cool Tune: Lillix “Tomorrow”

Leave a Reply to Sydney




You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv Enabled