Comments on: Emotional Equality in Parenting

By: kim

kim — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:46:19 +0000

i think those mom’s who are being asked all the time for help , you need to stop helping. Stop giving your answers. “put the Y in the road to make a diffenance there are many dad’s out there that are performing the role, let them. “Go ask your Dad” Don’t give an answer. Mandate performacne of the father.

By: manager mom

manager mom — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 11:08:43 +0000

My husband is WAY more emotionally available than my father. He is great with the kids, and in some ways even more accessible than me. Because my father always told me crying was a sign of weakness. I grew up in an environment where emotions were definitely NOT valued. So I am working on that for my kids. My son will run to me when he is sad, but my daughter will run to Daddy. And this makes me bittersweetly happy, because she had the type of father who makes that safe for her. manager moms last blog post..My Long Overscheduley Nightmare Is Almost Over

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:08:37 +0000

I am sure that it will be a mom thing in my family, as my father passed away very early in my adult life I have always turned to my mom … but I see now that my children always ask me for everything … even when dad is right there.

Amys last blog post..Ranting About The Dentist

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 02:44:01 +0000

Honestly, it’s pretty even in my family. If I need him emotionally, Dad is there. Luckily I married someone just like him, and my girls turn to him as much as they turn to me.

We’re pretty unconventional though, in a lot of ways.

Jens last blog post..This is nuts!

By: Lisa P

Lisa P — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 02:36:53 +0000

I don’t really have an emotional connection with either parent. My dad is a bit of a stranger to me and my mom isn’t touchy-feely. My sister, she is my emotional go-to person.

I really hope my kids feel emotions are free to share with either parent. If it is only going to be one of us though, I’m going to be selfish and hope I’m the one to be that lucky. Someone sharing their honest feelings and heart with you is a huge compliment and an amazing testament of trust.

Lisa Ps last blog post..Olympic Rings

By: Tricia

Tricia — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:32:00 +0000

Marie: I think you’ve just provided a new diagnosis for what some times ails me too, “mushpot”. I remember my mom used to say, “just wait until your father gets home” and as soon as I heard his tires hit the drive way, I hit my bedroom. Then, I finally realized he was really a big softy, but we still can’t talk about anything “emotional”.

Jan and Wicked Step Mom: I love that you have such diversity in how your children are relating to the mom vs. dad emotionally. I think the mellenials will change the stereotypical ideas even more than GenX has.

Donna: It certainly does seem to be learned behavior. Here’s a hug back to you {{{}}.

By: donna

donna — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:16:46 +0000

Ok here is my take on this. Back in yester year it was only women who were nurses in the army and they did not fight on the front lines. So I belive that men did not have what it took to be empathetic to peoples feelings and it was instilled in us right from the begining. That was the way I was raised and I’m sure a lot of others. so of course that was the way that I knew and raised my children as well.

Thank you Tricia, I Love you to (more)

By: WickedStepMom

WickedStepMom — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:40:07 +0000

With us, it depends on the kid. The oldest turns to her dad, the middle to me and the youngest wants us both. They really hate disappointing either one of us and we both do the non-emotional fixing. (He does it more than me but, he likes to be able to fix a problem). WickedStepMoms last blog post..Blog Award

By: Memarie Lane

Memarie Lane — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:11:09 +0000

It’s pretty much the same way with me and my parents. For some reason I’m nervous about talking to my dad, I have no reason to be really.

I think it tends to happen that way especially in traditional nuclear families. When I was pregnant with #1 I told Brad it was important to me that our kids see me as an authority figure. I didn’t ever want to have to say “just wait until your dad gets home!” But Brad is always, constantly undermining my authority, causing the kids to see me as a mushpot they don’t really have to listen to. And conversely, they see me as their comfort zone. A mushpot is more comfortable than an authority figure.

By: Jan

Jan — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:47:56 +0000

I grew up in a very matriarchal household. I never really knew my father and my step-father was…emotionally stunted, to put it kindly. We turned to our mother for everything.

Likewise, my kids turn to me for everything. Once we divorced, my ex-husband decided Oldest Son and Darling Daughter were no longer his responsibility. The Young One’s father stays involved as long as I make an effort to keep him involved, but he’s a Disneyland Dad at best.

On the other hand, Beloved’s daughters are far closer to him than they are to their mother. She’s a bit, shall we say, on the shallow side, and they both complain that they can’t talk to her about important matters. When they need a shoulder to cry on, it’s their Dad they turn to.

I think it really all depends on the parents’ disposition.

Jans last blog post..I Fall Down Go Boom And Other Adventures