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Writing is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.

ā€” Winston Churchill

A Hypocrite’s View of Leaving Home

My best friend of 23 years is leaving home for the first time. She and her husband are moving 1,000 miles away from everything they know, and away from their large extended family. A job opportunity was presented, they said what the heck let’s give it a try, and within a few weeks they and their children will be living in a new city.

Selfishly, I’m thrilled because she’ll now only be two hours away from where I live … YAHOOOOO!!!!

Amongst all the excitement there’s also sadness and angst about what it means to live so far away from where you grew up and the family you love…parents, siblings, aunts & uncles, grandparents, etc. Of course I’m telling her not to worry, “It’ll be fine. Dont’ let your family make you feel guilty … Sometimes it’s wonderful to have some distance between you and the family … just think of all the new adventures you’ll have … this is a great opportunity … yadda, yadda, yadda.”

I live 1200 miles away from my extended family. My husband’s family is spread across three continents. Distance between loved ones is simply a part of life for us. I keep telling my friend she has to do what’s right for her and her children, not what she may perceive as being right for everyone else.

In a few weeks my oldest stepson will move to the other side of the world, literally, and I keep asking, “Why do you want to move so far away from your family?”

Any creative ideas out there on how to help children and grandparents stay connected when they live far apart?

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12 comments to A Hypocrite’s View of Leaving Home

  • Thomas and I discuss moving away sometimes. We never do, though, because of my parents. My mom always reminds me, “But you won’t have *any* help with the kids, then!” Yep. Guilt and trickery. Thankfully, I don’t have to deal with in laws, because they’re on the other side of the planet. ;)

    The only creative things I can think of are internet, videos, and planes. And phones. They might come in handy.

    Wendys last blog post..Perfection

  • Amy

    “Iā€™m telling her not to worry…yadda, yadda, yadda.ā€ What the heck is this? Are you just humoring me? There is no yadda, yadda, this is going to be good!

    Someone here said we should get a video phone for the kids!

    Amys last blog post..Random Cuteness

  • The internet is wonderful for keeping in touch.

    We also subscribe to a service called myfamily.com where the whole family can keep in touch together and share stories, news, photos, etc. We’ve found that to be very useful.

    By the way, I tagged you for an award on my blog.

  • joaquim sanders

    Amy:

    I wish you and family all the best. You gain the proximity of a family too. I look forward to visiting!

  • donna

    Congrats to Amy and family.
    It will be the hardest on your Mom, she will get used to it and it does make the phone calls more special. Video phones are only good if you both have them. “Someone once talked me into getting one and they don’t have one to return the calls.” So if you go that route make sure you both have one.

    No one should ever make you feel quilty for a new adventure anywhere. Go for it and make the most of it

  • Webcams are great for keeping in touch long distance. We also use a website to host all of the pictures of the kids so that we can send the link to Grandma and Papa. The kids love to send them and the grandparents love getting them. We also make two trips a year for an extended visit.

  • No solutions, but I surprised myself at age 39 when me and the wife briefly stayed with my parents, with whom I had argued for decades, and then we bought a house an hour away from them. Surprise! I live in their neighborhood for the first time since I was 17! And we don’t argue very much….

    garys last blog post..Full fronta! Nud!ty!

  • We migrated about more than a year ago and I miss everybody back home. I call my dad regularly and we email often.

    I am sure you will miss your oldest stepson. And he’ll miss you too, I’m sure.

    ps maybe he’s running away from you so that you won’t choose his wife for him? just kidding..hehe.. i would love to choose a bride for my son if i do have a son, someday..lol. She must love my son, she must love me, must love my DH, she must love my furry baby, and most importantly, she must cook for us! lol.

    Brandygirls last blog post..And the Award Goes to:

  • Jen

    It’s got to be hard. I can’t imagine living far away from my family, though part of me longs to live outside of Texas.

    As far as keeping in touch, we have a site on MyFamily.com – for us to keep up with distant family members. We post pictures, news, videos, etc. It’s pretty great really.

    Jens last blog post..RAK: Tuesday

  • We’ve had to move all over due to corporate relocations and, looking back, it’s a good experience IMHO.

    MamaGeeks last blog post..Perhaps I Gave Birth To Rambo

  • We spent three years in Florida, and our family was all in California. My mom would send my kids postcards every week with pictures of animals on them. It’s actually almost easier to be close when you’re farther away, because there’s less day-to-day mundanity to strain things.

    Memarie Lanes last blog post..Bloggy Giveaway Survival

  • Tricia

    Thanks for all the great suggestions. I’d never heard of MyFamily.com but checked it out last night, and it looks great.

    And Brandygirl…Sush now. He couldn’t possibly be running away from me. With my over-the-top controlling personality, what’s to run away from? I think I need to remind him again how much he’s going to miss me.

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