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One More Reason Granny Panties Are a Must

A Los Angeles woman claims she was injured by her Victoria’s Secret thong, prompting her to sue the underwear manufacturer.

Obviously the plaintiff has not been stocking blogs. If she had been, she’d know the smartest women gave up wearing underwear adorned with trinkets in favor of the sexier granny panties a long time ago.

The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria’s Secret “low-rise v-string, from the Victoria’s Secret “Sexy Little Thing” line, according to a court document.

Patterson’s lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a “design problem” caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.

We of course hope that this poor Sexy Little Thing didn’t receive a serious, deforming or blinding injury and that she has learned her lesson—Those panties, the kind that attacked her, those are just for show. You’re not actually supposed to wear them. And if Patterson just got a little eyeball sore, well then we say shame, shame for bringing yet another frivolous law suit.

The big question on my mind is what kind of warning will Victoria Secret now put on all their under garments? McDonalds warns their coffee is too hot to drink, GE had to put a consumer warning on oven doors to remind all short people it’s a really stupid idea to stand on the oven door. What kind of a warning will the underwear giant now start printing on all their sexy little things?

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